As the saying goes, when life hands you lemons, make lemonade….but what if life has handed you a bunch of dried out, rotten lemons. What then?
While this may be a little off topic, I found myself, halfway through a particularly tough week, reflecting on one of my favorite “self-help” writers.
Barbara Sher has built a career on writing no-nonsense advice, that doesn’t rely on any ‘mystical unbreakable laws of the universe’, or the latest pop-psychology theorem. Instead, she offers down to earth solutions to everyday problems.
One of those problems, which she addresses wonderfully in her book Wishcraft, is how to react when things really go in the tank for you. You’ve had a miserable week, nothing has gone right, you are WAY behind quota, and the light at the end of the tunnel is not just a train…it’s a burning locomotive pulling a dozen fuel cars.
She recommends, what she calls “Hard Times.” In essence, let it all out. Find a trusted friend who will not try and solve your problem, but will just listen intently and sympathize. Give yourself a time limit … and go for it.
So how does this apply to prospecting? Well, the reality is that there are going to be weeks that don’t go your way. There may be much more than just weeks. And putting on a polyanna attitude of “Winners never quit, and quitters never win” is not going to address the underlying psychological problem – namely that you’re p***ed off at the world, and you desperately need to vent.
Years ago I worked with a guy named Harry, who was the single most foul-mouthed individual I have ever known. I have worked on landscaping crews, in call centres staffed with former welfare recipients, and in dozens of different restaurants, but shoe-store Harry took the cake.
One day, during a particularly rancid tirade over some customer who had tried to return some shoes that had obviously been worn, I stopped him mid-sentence, and said,
“Harry, you need to calm down. You’re going to have a heart attack.”
He smiled beautifically and replied, “No I’m not. You only have heart attacks if you bottle things up. I let everything out, I’m probably going to live to a 100.”
Truth was, Harry went to sleep every night and dreamed sweet and pleasant dreams. He never had any of the typical “nervous ailments” like stomach troubles, constant colds, or anything like that. Harry let it all out, and as a result lived a relatively stress-free life.
Now, far be it from me to suggest you take up recreational venting as a hobby, but there is some wisdom to Harry’s solution. Once in a while, turn off the ‘positive affirmations’, which have been clinically proven to do more harm than good – especially if your self esteem is low to begin with.
Find someone you trust. Someone who will keep really quiet about what you have said, and someone who loves you enough to call “time” when your self-appointed venting period is up.
Then, let it all hang out.
Because sometimes the only way to clean a wound, is to get all the poison out first.
